Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
