"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
