I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
