oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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