dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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