yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
