If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
