I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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