Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
