you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
