Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize