Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
