In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
