I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
