u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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