I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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