yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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