if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
