If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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