it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
