I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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