Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
