he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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