i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
