plz talk dirty to me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
