OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
