I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It's just like the Real World with babies
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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