My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
