She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize