He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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