I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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