I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
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I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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