Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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