Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
