last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.