I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner