So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
