it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My pussy is not your playground.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
