We named our party play list daddy issues
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
