During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
