margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
