if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
