did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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