STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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