i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize