Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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