My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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