just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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