oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
