btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
