i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
