Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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