he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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