3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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