Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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