I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
