Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just found a bag of teeth...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
