Why are handjobs necessary in class?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
